Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Garage in the Sky

Still want to believe that wealth is centered in the good old USA?  Well, while you were distracted by your X-Box, People have been building things like THIS.

Holy Crap!

Yeah that is a $400,000 Lamborghini Aventador riding in a dedicated automobile elevator to a fancy shmancy apartment in the sky, and being auto-parked next to a $500,000 Ferrari 599 in a private penthouse for cars.

Beats the view of my backyard...

Enjoy your credit card debt, America.  Maybe if we eat enough Big Macs we can forget all about it...

Friday, February 7, 2014

Something for your bum?

Carbon Fiber Flite 'Evolution' saddle?  "OUCH" I hear you say?  That is because your a$$ is just not hard enough.

Ouch.  It just looks like ouch.  In the dictionary under 'ouch' is a picture of this thing.


Homegrown branded Selle San Marco Strada.  Awesome.  No ouch.

And a Selle San Marco Bontrager saddle with Manganese rails.  NOT Magnesium, so please don't shave off filing from your saddle rails and try to light them on fire if you get lost on a ride as Manganese won't burn like magnesium will, thank you very much.  What the hell is Manganese I hear you say?  Well... Manganese is a fancy way of saying 'steel'.  Without getting too technical, it is a blended steel.  So is 'Vanadium'.  Back in the 90's when all the rich kids started buying titanium railed saddles (that actually said 'titanium' on the rails), all the poor kids wanted something fancy printed on their saddle rails too, so Vanadium and Manganese came into being as a saddle rail type, but in the end, it is just good old steel.  Maybe tubular hollow rails in steel, but still just steel.

Your bum won't know the difference.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Now Available! Old Bike Parts with Free Digital Latex LOBOTOMY!

"Trending" on the flea I bring you these VRC morsels from Caramba and Altek! Trending has apparently become the catch phrase for "people are talking about and uselessly inundating their friends with worthless tweets and pokes related to "X", by endlessly liking, friending, circling and linking"  Sometimes I want to "poke" myself in the eye with a dental pick, "circle" my navel repeatedly with a curling iron, and "link" myself lips first to a car muffler I'm so overrun with my new e-social media groupies.  Here at One Utahdog Center, World Congress of the Americas, in order to control our own meteoric "Trending" popularity, we have set up a special task force to analyze the debatable value of confusingly nebular social media on our growing corporate dominance. 

To this point though my kingpins and I, holed up as we are in the Carrera Marble Board Room Suite, Hot Tub Annex/Tanga Lounge (snippets of the fun are available on Vine), see dubious value in participating in the ever blossoming poppy field of social media.  Instead, we will continue on our current course with the objective of world vintage bicycle domination by taking a page from Halloween 3 and distributing thousands of rubber masks in the likeness of Steve Potts, equipped with itty bitty digital thingies which, when triggered by a secret transmission buried deep in the Red Bull Gives You Wings commercials broadcast during ESPN "The Ocho"'s coverage of this years Rampage, will zap you in the back of the head and turn your brains into little gooey pots of mucky festering grubs, rendering you all catatonic and incapable of all action save for respiration, heartbeat, and an uncontrollable urge to send your vintage goodies to me.

But until that glorious day comes I have to just look at crap on the flea just like everyone else.

This guy must have an early trade show freebie Steve Potts mask, with a manufacturing defect  anomaly, because he wants $860 for his Caramba cranks.  Quality control for our early masks was marginal, but improvement is 'Trending'.

Cute little dancing hats. #DancingHats #WasteofTime #KillMeNow.

And these Alteks went for a healthy $157 on a seven day auction.  Nice score for both sides, although if Fair Transaction begins to seriously "Trend" I may have to shut down the Hot Tub Annex.