First, more bacon.
|I want to stuff you in my pants, Mr. Bacon. Yummy.|
Enough of that. Down to business.
These two items recently found their way into the "hock me for cheap so as to finance frighteningly ridiculous and unnecessarily extravagant facility improvements" climate controlled storage facility in our International Shipping and Global Domination (ISGD) offices and therefore hit the flea. Increasing our liquidity here in the gleaming towers of One Utahdog Center, World Congress of the Americas has become a priority. The women are restless and are demanding an unprecedented level of investment to the brick-and-mortar side of the enterprise, what with the removal of the brass poles and the wallpapering of the Hookah Lounge and all. Now they are yammering on about lead crystal and Corinthian leather and other such nonsense. The board is discussing options, ranging from the repeal of the right to vote to the suspension of fresh cut flowers for the Formal Dining Hall and Topless Water Polo Pool, or "FuDHaTWaPP". Something has to be done.