"I just had a colonoscopy today and have enough stuff left over for another person to do the prep and not have to buy anything. The Miralax is not even half gone and there are 4 Dulcolax tablets left. In my prep instructions, all you need is 238g of the stuff and I have 272gs. Oh ya, and I have this butter dish thing I'm not useing. Just trying to not throw this stuff away. All you have to do is text me and I'll give you my address and you can drive by and get it out of my mailbox, we don't need to meet up or anything."
What's the butter dish for again? No wait, nevermind. I don't think I want that question answered.
Good thing he doesn't want to "meet up." Instead I can just boost a half-used bottle of Miralax from the mailbox.
There's also a free goat out there today. I sent Heifer International $75 bucks to send some poor family a damn goat for Christmas when I could have just sent one myself?
In this free crate, maybe?
God Bless America.