Friday, January 11, 2013

Droid-o-Phone Culture!

Dumpage from the Phone.  Does anyone else do this?  Think, "hey THAT's a neat-o shot.  I should snap that  with my handy Droid-o-Phone camera and then act like other people care about my pictures and put them on the interwebs later"?

I do that crap all the time.  What's worse is I don't think enough of other people to actually go to the effort to bore them to tears in an even slightly efficient and timely manner.  I make you people WAIT for your Droid-o-Phone uselessness.

We call it customer service, and it is all spelled out in the employee handbook for the drones of One Utahdog Center, World Congress of the Americas.

Let's catch up...

Bus on a strange moonlit evening in NE FLA.  Don't tell the boss lady I was tooling around at night!

Nice Try.

You are seeing that right.  In the middle of the lane, were you to follow the signals and not the skip lane shift, is a tree.  Here in Florida we call this "Traffic Engineering". 

Why aren't there more of these "wrong way" signs in bike lanes.  Seems like a perfect solution to solving the Fred Salmon proliferation condition that the world is facing.  Fred's do not understand directional markings.  By "Fred's" I mean me, and by "directional markings" I mean arrows.  By "salmon" I don't mean fleshy pink fish meat.

Rice for the Grape.  Yeah, I did that.  Hey, if my brother wants to wear cranberry plain front hipster trousers at the age of 46, I can rice up my purple Fit.  We are both equally stupid individuals.

Remember that tree in the middle of the lane were you to miss that skip lane shift?  Strike one.  They restored the tree to vertical shortly thereafter.  The beauty of the Sable Palm is that you can stick it in the ground like a cotton swab in pudding and it will grow.  I guess re-sticking it works as well? 

Wrong on taxes, wrong on wine.

Skip lane dodging tree, strike two.  This time they hauled it away.  I was tempted to snatch it up and put it in my yard to save it from the further embarrassment of being knocked over again.  Poor tree.

Fried food.  Locally we call this the "Diet Plate".  Yummy.

And we are done with the Droid-o-Phone camera catch-up, so stick that in your pudding and smoke it.


Steve Reed said...

I am not going to be baited by your anti-cranberry pants bullshit. What did you even do to that car? I can't tell from the photo, unless it's adding that mysterious decal.

I agree: Poor tree. You should have rescued it, though you might have needed some help to get it onto your bike rack. And then there's that whole grand theft thing. Oh yeah.

Steve Reed said...

(On re-reading my comment, it sounds pretty harsh! You DO know I'm joking, right?!)

Goats With SmartPhones said...

As long as you don't own an iPhone you are forgiven :-)

I snap crap on my cellphone all the time, sometimes it even makes it to my blog too.

utahDOG! said...

As long as you are joking about cranberry pants...